Asking someone out may not be the easiest thing. Working up the courage to ask a cute girl you have a crush on out on a date isn’t easy. And even if you have the courage, do you know what to say to her? Most importantly, will you hold the conversation, keeping her interested until the end?
I am one of those men who had no idea how to ask girls out. My struggles came from my fear of rejection, and I used to think girls were hard to talk to.
However, after some time, I gathered my courage and learned a few tricks which ended up changing my life for the best.
In this article I will be sharing six ways to ask girls out and get the dates you want.
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Summon your confidence
The most important rule here is to remember that this is no big deal. Once you have made this clear to yourself, it becomes much easier to gather your courage and just do what needs to be done.
One of the biggest mistakes men make that gets them even more frightened is to think about it too much. How will she react? What is she rejects me? What if I make a fool of myself? And so many other ‘what ifs.’
Keep in mind that there are lots of fish in the sea. It does not change anything that you want to ask one out. So, don’t get nervous about it.
Easier said than done, right? Well, I am not saying that being nervous is wrong or inevitable. On the contrary, it can be a good thing.
Only you should not let it get in the way of your success, as you may not be the only one after the girl, and hence, the more you wait, the more you ruin your chances of getting her.
Building up events in your head and imagining failure will make things worse for you. If you imagine that you are not good enough for her, even asking her out will be hard. You will have failed even before you open your mouth.
Imagine a situation where you open your mouth, and your voice comes out eight octaves high. Such an embarrassment will make you fail.
She may say ‘No,’ and so what if she does? Your life doesn’t end. Besides, she will be flattered that you asked her out and that is the impression you want to leave her with.
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Text her
Texting is one of the most effective ways of communication in the modern world. It is no wonder that even marketers are using this platform to capture a wider audience.
If you want to market your intentions for a date, sending a cute text or email is a great way to get there. The chances that your text will be read are very high.
But there are certain rules you must keep in mind for effective texting.
Get her number the right way
The first thing to make texting effective is to get her number. Not only that, but you should get it the right way. If you met at a party, ask her for her number in person.
And then make sure she saves your contact information as well. To do this, send her a text immediately after you get her number introducing yourself and asking her to save it.
“Hi, Cyndy. This is John, we met last night. Kindly save my contacts.”
Remember, a text like this serves as an ice-breaker, and she does not have to respond. If she does, you don’t have to respond either.
Keep your texts short, clear and don’t overdo it
Texting keeps it sweet and brief. Find a conversation starter that stirs things up.
Avoid the usual boring “Hey! How are you doing?” kind of text. Consider starting with a question that requires an open-ended answer.
“Hey, Cyndy. What do you think about (this and that)?”
Avoid sending paragraphs telling her how perfect you are for her. It only makes you seem desperate.
At the same time, do not send another message before she responds to the previous one. It is crucial to give her personal space.
Strive to meet her in person
While texting can be a fun way to face your fears, you should not dwell on it for too long. Aim for the date in your conversations. It’s better if you can talk to her in person.
With this in mind, do not put her under too much pressure to say ‘Yes.’ Use flirty messages carefully while gauging her reactions.
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Ask her in Person
Talking to a girl in person and asking her out is the most recommended approach. It shows that you are courageous enough to approach her. Besides, it makes it easy to read her body language and glean what she thinks about your proposal at the same time.
There are several clues that will tell you whether the girl is interested or not. For instance, if she seems distracted, stressed out, or upset. If she is walking fast, typing furiously on her phone, curling her arm, or crossing her legs. These could be signs that she is not interested.
Observe her body language because it can help you make your move faster. Do not approach a girl in person if she has her headphones on or is working out in a gym. It is not advisable to approach a woman in places where they are not expecting much.
Be polite with every word you say. A good introduction should include your name and a few compliments. For instance, “Hi, I am Peter. I like your jacket, and I thought you could give me some ideas regarding where I can get a similar one.”
Keep it casual and respectful while observing her level of interest.
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Be yourself
Self-esteem is crucial when asking a girl out on a date. Do not present yourself as someone you think you should be.
Avoid overthinking what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Also, using complicated pickup lines to sound cool may backfire.
Women can tell if you are using rehearsed lines or if you are pretending to be something you are not. It is, therefore, better to keep things close to the chest and use your personality.
Be playful. But if cracking jokes is not who you are, don’t force it. There are many ways to ask a girl out without using canned lines.
Tell the truth as much as possible, and maintain eye contact. A compliment is always good, but do not overdo this.
If you are asking her out in a public place, take up a little time as possible. You don’t want to interrupt her program where she may have been with her friends. And don’t linger around for more than necessary. This is not very polite.
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Offer her an easy way out
Women do not know men can handle rejection. Therefore, many try to be polite and give a soft ‘No’ instead of being too harsh.
They can smile and say something like, “Thank you, maybe later.” Or pretend to be doing something else while you are talking to them. Just know that they are not down with it and exit politely.
The best approach would be to give her an easy way out. Use words like ‘No pressure,’ or ‘I will understand if you say no.’
She could be trying to see how mature you are when it comes to controlling your emotions. This greatly improves your chances of success in ways you may not have imagined.
It’s not polite to force her into something she does not want or seem as though you are invading her private space.
As stated in the beginning, there are chances that she will say ‘No.’ And you should already know what you are going to say next to keep her in the safe zone.
Your aim should be to impress her and make her feel comfortable around you. This is the best way to get the date you want easily.
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Find out if she is single
If you want to be sure of getting that date, it would be helpful if you knew if she is single first. It is a good and practical idea that will save you a lot of time. You don’t want to go out with a married woman or one who is already in a relationship.
But do not ask her directly because she might say ‘No.’ It would be unfair to the person she is seeing. There are other other ways to find out such information that do not involve making her feel uncomfortable.
If she is single, just go ahead and ask her if she would love to go out with you. Or better still, get her number first.
Remember to keep your cool and give her a reason to trust you.
These six ways will get you the date you want. Make sure you have followed the ground rules, like keeping a smart appearance and staying polite. Have a happy dating life.
