Imagine, you’re on the first date with someone, the night is going great. You seem to have many similar interests and really seem to be connecting. There is only one problem, they seem to be avoiding talking about their job. They keep giving general answers but never seem to tell you exactly what they do. You walk away from the date wondering what they’re not telling you. You are still excited for another date despite this, there was a real connection and this seems like it’s worth a shot.
Another date goes by where you have no idea what they do. You tried asking but they find new ways to avoid answering your questions or completely changing the subject Finally, on the third date, hoping you might end the night at one of your houses, she tells you she’s a sex worker, more specifically one of the London escorts. How are you supposed to react?
This can be the scariest part of being an escort that wants to have a life outside of just their job. Like every other job, there is a personal life and work balance that can be near impossible to find. For some people, it can be hard to decide if they even want a personal life outside of their job. And on top of such a hard decision, some clients want to become more than just clients and that is an entirely different decision to make altogether. So is it actually possible to have a romantic relationship as an escort?
How to Turn Off The Job
This can be one of the hardest aspects, says one of our popular Las Vegas escorts. Even when they are on a date with someone who could be a significant other, they can find themselves acting as though they are a client. They bat their eyelashes and act so interested in sports and the newest Star Wars movie. Which can make even them question if this is really all just another date they aren’t getting paid for or if they are truly being genuine with the person they are with.
Deciding what is real and what is fake when you are with someone can be harder than many would imagine. An escort’s job is to create a fantasy for their client. And sometimes the escort is selling themselves on the fantasy for an allotted time. An escort knows it isn’t supposed to last but for the clients, the fantasy can be almost too believable. So when they are with someone who isn’t a client, it can be hard to turn off everything they know to create an amazing time with someone and truly show themselves.
It takes practice for many escorts to turn off being the person their date wants them to be. Their job is to be a chameleon, especially if their client isn’t exactly interesting to them. So being able to transform into whatever pleases the next person they are with. While many have to almost sit there and remind themselves of their likes and interests the whole time, it can be done. They are real people and just like all other work, escort is just a job title that helps pay the bills.
Potential Dates Reacts Differently
But even if they can turn off the job there is no guarantee the potential date will take well to the news. That is probably the hardest part of all this is how anyone will act. The worst part can be when to bring it up with your potential significant other. With sex work still such a highly stigmatized topic, what are you supposed to expect from the other person?
Some escorts wait till they think it will get serious to mention what they do for work, keeping any answers extremely general. Others think that being open right off the bat is the best option. They believe that if they can’t handle it right away then the relationship is not worth pursuing. While others think if a person gets to know them before they find out what they do, it will somehow change their feelings on the matter.
And while it is so much easier to try to avoid or lie about what you do or even just skirt around it all together, it will eventually catch up with you. Reactions will always vary and it honestly depends on the person what the best time to tell them would be. But if they care about you as a person, hopefully, that can help them see through their stigmatisation from birth.
Clients Can Even React Differently
On top of having to worry about what a date will think there can also be the issue of having to deal with clients that expect you to be free. While many clients expect an escort to understand they are sneaking around on their spots, they can sometimes be shocked you are in a relationship outside your work. It can feel a bit demeaning, being put into such a light like that. Yet, there are plenty of people that would not care or just feel like it’s to be expected in that line of work.
A huge part can come down to how much these clients see their escorts as people or just meat. Some expect that because you sell your body, you don’t deserve to be with anyone. Or some don’t want to be with someone else’s property. Either way, it’s not great. And it can be challenging to decide whether you even be honest about the fact you are in a relationship. While some clients are just genuinely curious, others are asking for alter motives. Again, making it near impossible to tell if you should be giving any information away or not. If an escort lies and the client decides to google the escort, there could be a chance they’re going to give a bad review that is completely unfounded and make the escort seem bad, even though all they did was try to protect themselves from others criticism.
Other clients really aren’t going to care. They understand this is for a limited time and get that there is a magic to the fantasy ending. Some don’t even go that far, some just want something fast and then want to be able to forget about it all. But it really doesn’t matter their reasons as long as they don’t really care and leave it be. But the difference of thought processes is interesting, to say the least.
Can Clients Be More Than Clients?
Many escorts believe their clients need to stay as just that, clients. It is seen as unprofessional to have a relationship with your client. As many people believe in a 9-5 environment that dating a co-worker is not the smartest, that is how many escorts feel about combining their professional life as well as their personal life. It can be challenging to decide if a specific client is worth breaking that rule that even the most vanilla people follow in their own lives.
Other escorts will only make exceptions for very specific clients. Some make exceptions for clients closer to their age, how frequently a person asks for their services, or even how open they are, to begin with about their lives. And when they do decide to make that exception there is a different type of trust involved. The type of trust involved relies heavily on the previous client, now partner, to not seek out other sex workers for the same things they previously got, as well as the now partner becoming jealous of the escort for the relationships they have outside of their partner.
No matter how the relationship works out it can be complicated all the same. And that is a type of complication many escorts are not willing to deal with. While it does happen, these exceptions are not made frequently, just like many people don’t make exceptions for any co-worker.
Traditional Relationships Aren’t Everything
Escorts’ line of work lends itself to more than flexible ways of a love life. While many escorts have traditional, monogamous relationships, others find that non-traditional relationships are the best way to go. Escorts still end up dating even more people than just one. Many can find this helps them be able to further separate themselves from the job. Others think a traditional relationship is exactly what they need.
Some Los Angeles escorts even begin their work while in a relationship. While this certainly wouldn’t work for many couples, these couples have an understanding of what’s expected from each other and communication is key. Many couples have set boundaries even the escort is under, whether that be some sexual acts are allowed versus other, could even be as simple as escorts not be allowed to kiss their clients.
Relationships with escorts, and sex workers in general, really differ from what each person can handle and what they want from their relationships at the end of the day.
Their Jobs Aren’t Them
Escort is a job title. While it can be become intertwined with their daily lives, it does not define who they are. Just like any other job, people have to tailor their lives to a certain degree to make it work. There are certain days and times of day they aren’t available for the important people in their lives. They stay in certain areas because that is where the work is. They might not explain their job as fully as they could because not everyone will understand it during a first date conversation.
Although, as a civilian it can be hard to be fully understanding. An average line of work does not include sex with people or going out on dates with people that can’t seem to get a date on their own. It’s hard to understand why escorts do what they do, but escorts also wonder the same thing when they are earning more than the average job. They know what they can do and aren’t afraid to do what it takes to get that type of money.
Escorts fully realize that some people are able to handle their significant other doing sex work. Some people are able to see that it is just a job. Others are not able to see past the sex work. But at the end of the day it truly is just a job and its dependent on the escort to see how intertwined they want their escorting life and day-to-day life to be.